Suicidal Thoughts

In my years of ministry experience, I have dealt with either suicidal threats, suicidal attempts, or suicidal death at least once each year over the past 25 years.  This year (2017) it was twice and both were young teenagers.  One was a boy and one was a girl.  One resulted in a preventative visit to the ER and the other resulted in a funeral.  I have preached funerals of those who have committed suicide and have walked families through the steps necessary to get help.  One of the hardest parts of ministry is often convincing parent(s) or legal guardian(s) that help is needed.  Families often respond, “She’s done this before,” “He’s just wanting attention,” or “All teenagers make suicidal threats.”  First, not all teenagers threaten suicide.  Some research indicates that only 16% of teenagers threaten suicide, and half of them follow through on their threat.  I am not okay with a 50/50 chance they may or may not follow through on a threat.  That is why we can never dismiss any threat of suicide as insignificant.  We cannot fall into the trap of believing this is “normal teenage behavior,” because it’s not!  Here are some questions, thoughts, and helps…
 
What if I am having suicidal thoughts?  Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.  You can even chat with someone online at http://chat.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
 
What if I know of someone who has threatened suicide?  In some cases and in some states you may be legally obligated to inform authorities of the threat.  For example, as a member of the American Association of Christian Counselors, I have agreed to adhere to a “Code of Ethics” that would prompt me to take protective action when threats of suicide are known.  In ALL CASES you and I both have moral obligation to inform authorities of the threat.  Here’s what to do and what to expect…

1. Take them to a local hospital Emergency Room.  Going to your family physician may actually delay the help they need.  Your ER will be equipped to handle the situation appropriately. 
2. Don't delay in going to the ER.  Waiting until "the next day" because it is "more convenient" is no excuse.  This could literally be a life or death choice.  Don't take the risk in postponing the visit to the ER.  I have yet to hear a valid reason to delay.
3. If they are not willing to go to the hospital of their own volition, then call 911 or your local dispatch and inform them that you are aware of a suicidal threat.  The police are not there to “arrest” anyone for making a suicidal threat.  Instead, they will be there to help deescalate an already tense situation.  They will only arrest someone if they become hostile or physical.  It has been my experience that local police are great at communicating with the person threatening suicide, they can deescalate the situation, and they can explain the importance of going to the ER.
4. Once at the ER, they will determine the appropriate follow-up steps.  Follow their instructions precisely.

 
What NOT to do if you know someone has threatened suicide…

1. Don’t assume that it is an idle threat.  Statistically it is a 50/50 shot.  Get help.
2. Don’t assume that all teenagers threaten suicide.  They don’t.  Get help.
3. Don't assume that you will have a tomorrow.  Get help immediately.
4. Don’t assume that your school, church, hospital, or local authorities won’t offer any REAL help.  That’s not your decision to make.  Get help.
5. Don’t belittle or speak ill of those who can offer help (especially in front of the victim).  Saying things like, “That school won’t do anything anyway” only increases the feelings of hopelessness and despair.  It communicates that you don’t know how to help and others aren’t willing to help. 
6. Don’t argue with those in authority.  They are there to help you.
7. Don’t make the situation about you or your parenting.  This is about the victim.  The only indictment on your parenting would be if you did nothing.  Set aside your pride for the sake of your child’s life.

 
Here are some additional thoughts and resources about suicide...

• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

 

• www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org

 

• Developing a biblical understanding of suicide.

 
Do the right thing.