Our Team at ChrisDortch.com
At ChrisDortch.com, we run a tight ship.
A very small ship.
Okay, it’s basically a kayak.
While most organizations boast entire departments of producers, designers, and strategists, we have instead opted for a fiscally responsible, radically downsized approach we call the One-Man-Army-Plus-One-Plastic-Guy Model™.
Meet the Team
Chris “Steel Chaplain” Dortch
Founder, Writer, Director, Designer, Camera Guy, Coffee Maker
Steel Chaplain provides the brains, the brawn, and the bandwidth behind the operation. His code name comes not from actual military service (just to be clear! No chaplain credentials or enlistment papers were harmed in the making of this nickname), but from the combination of his pastoral vocation and his fondness for vintage toys.
When he’s not preaching, writing Bible commentary, or designing 1:18 scale diorama accessories for the USS Flagg, he’s probably adjusting lighting for a toy photo shoot, which is a sentence no one expected to read today.
A very small ship.
Okay, it’s basically a kayak.
While most organizations boast entire departments of producers, designers, and strategists, we have instead opted for a fiscally responsible, radically downsized approach we call the One-Man-Army-Plus-One-Plastic-Guy Model™.
Meet the Team
Chris “Steel Chaplain” Dortch
Founder, Writer, Director, Designer, Camera Guy, Coffee Maker
Steel Chaplain provides the brains, the brawn, and the bandwidth behind the operation. His code name comes not from actual military service (just to be clear! No chaplain credentials or enlistment papers were harmed in the making of this nickname), but from the combination of his pastoral vocation and his fondness for vintage toys.
When he’s not preaching, writing Bible commentary, or designing 1:18 scale diorama accessories for the USS Flagg, he’s probably adjusting lighting for a toy photo shoot, which is a sentence no one expected to read today.
|
|
Oscar “Blister” Harlan
Action Figure, Morale Officer, Pose Specialist
Blister joined the team as an action figure who, by policy and plastic limitation, only arrives once the heavy lifting is done—hence the nickname. While Steel Chaplain builds, scripts, prints, glues, writes, edits, models, markets, and uploads, Blister stands by heroically, waiting for his moment to lean casually against a crate or stare into the middle distance.
His resume includes:
• Looking awesome under studio lighting
• Never blinking on camera
• Being poseable (90° at the elbows!)
He has yet to file a complaint and has no known allergies.
Action Figure, Morale Officer, Pose Specialist
Blister joined the team as an action figure who, by policy and plastic limitation, only arrives once the heavy lifting is done—hence the nickname. While Steel Chaplain builds, scripts, prints, glues, writes, edits, models, markets, and uploads, Blister stands by heroically, waiting for his moment to lean casually against a crate or stare into the middle distance.
His resume includes:
• Looking awesome under studio lighting
• Never blinking on camera
• Being poseable (90° at the elbows!)
He has yet to file a complaint and has no known allergies.
|
|
Together, They Do the Work of Literally One Person
Between the two of them, Steel Chaplain and Blister handle creative direction, R&D, photography, copywriting, shipping logistics, digital media, and the occasional battlefield theology—while maintaining a strict budget of one salary and zero health benefits.
Is it unconventional? Absolutely.
Does it work? Also yes.
Will the team expand? Only if the action figure line does.
Welcome to ChrisDortch.com — where imagination is big, scale is 1:18, and at least one team member is made of ABS plastic.
Between the two of them, Steel Chaplain and Blister handle creative direction, R&D, photography, copywriting, shipping logistics, digital media, and the occasional battlefield theology—while maintaining a strict budget of one salary and zero health benefits.
Is it unconventional? Absolutely.
Does it work? Also yes.
Will the team expand? Only if the action figure line does.
Welcome to ChrisDortch.com — where imagination is big, scale is 1:18, and at least one team member is made of ABS plastic.
